Percy Jackson Facebook Style
by valici
Summary: Ares develops an obsession with one of Apollo's sons, Jason has a top secret teddy bear, Sally experiences confusion with chatspeak and Annabeth and Calypso battle it out on Facebook. WARNING: This story has caused people to choke on their dinner, fall off their chairs and receive weird looks for laughing too loudly.
1. Chapter 1

Inside her cabin, a certain daughter of Zeus glared at her laptop. An unfortunate someone had changed her username to "Pinecone Face." She was fuming with rage. Glaring at it, Thalia posted what was on her mind.

_**Pinecone Face **_**is VERY, **_**EXTREMELY**_** angry because someone hacked her account and named it Pinecone Face.**

Thalia was going to get to the bottom of this, no matter what.

**(**_**Percy Jackson**_**, **_**Jason Grace**_** and 98 others like this)**

**I bet it was one of those idiotic boys! Dumb pranks are the only thing their empty heads can formulate. **Phoebe posted.

Fucking correct, Thalia thought, clicking the "like" button on the comment a second after Artemis.

**Not me! **Grover's comment popped up. That much was obvious.

**Me neither**, Nico commented.

**I didn't do anything. **Jason typed. Thalia frowned. She trusted her little brother about as far as she could throw him.

**Not me this time, though high five to the dude (WHO SHOULD HIDE REAL QUICK LIKE NOW YOU CAN'T DIE BEFORE WE EXCHANGE TIPS) **Thalia's frown deepened. If Travis was telling the truth then her prime suspect had been eliminated.

**Totally agree bro**_. _So it wasn't Connor either. But she couldn't trust the Stolls to tell her the truth.

Annabeth typed, **I think I know… **

Suddenly, lightening bolts popped up around Thalia's head. She knew too! There were only two suspects left on her list and she was beginning to doubt that Chiron had anything to do with her new username.

**Percy? **Thalia typed in her suspicion.

**Exactly. **Annabeth's reply came.

At that moment, a comment by the culprit himself popped up. **It was a joke…please don't kill me.**

Thalia grinned maniacally. **You. Are. Dead. Jackson.**

Oops. She'd forgotten to change her name back to Thalia Grace from Pinecone Face. She smiled, satisfied, as the message announcing the name change came up. Grinning, Thalia scrolled across her homepage. She could hunt down and kill Percy later. Probably electrify him a bit to give the audience a show. But right now, she was going to enjoy Facebook.

She spotted a new post from Poseidon. Possibly he wanted to speak to his son for one last time.

_**Poseidon**_** Barnacle Breath! BARNACLE BREATH? WHO DARES TO CALL THE **_**LORD OF THE SEA **_**BARNCLE BREATH?**

"OHMIGOD!" Thalia exclaimed out loud. Poseidon was also suffering from hacking!

**(Zeus, Ares, Dionysus and 2 others like this)**

**Cheers Barnacle Breath! **Lady Athena had typed.

**How dare you Athena? **Thalia could imagine extremely vividly how angry Poseidon was feeling.

**LOLOLOL. Much fun. Poseidon and Athena are having a full blown fight. Beats Zeus' lectures any day! **Apollo commented. So true.

Thalia would give a million bucks to get vaporized when he started on his no-one-has-any-respect-for-me-anymore rants. She smiled as Ares, Hermes and Dionysus liked Apollo's comment. About to hit the like button herself, Thalia paused as Zeus' comment came up:

**Apollo? **Oops. Father had a Facebook? Thalia quickly withdrew her hand from the mouse.

**Sorry father, no disrespect intended. **Yeah, right. Apollo was in soooo much trouble.

* * *

><p>Stupid, stupid idiot. I'll just go and put chocolate bunnies on Katie's roof and why on earth should she mind? Ugh, she hated Travis so much. Katie clicked the enter key.<p>

_**Katie Gardner**_** IS GONNA FREAKING MURDER TRAVIS STOLL. **

There. Travis was probably hiding from her wrath somewhere. Coward.

**Why? What did he do? **Annabeth asked. What did he do?_ WHAT DID HE DO?_

**THOSE TWO PUT FREAKING CHOCOLATE EASTER BUNNIES ON OUR CABIN ROOF! AGAIN! **Katie typed in response.

**Hey, it was my idea! Why aren't you trying to murder me? Is it because you loooooooooove Travis? **Connor's commented. Leo liked it. Katie felt like she was going to pass out.

**omgg. That is so it! Katie loves Travis! **Leo was so dead.

**I cannot even begin to tell you how lame that thought is :/ **Katie replied.

**Ditto…**

Oh.

God.

How dare Travis comment? HOW DARE HE?

**YOU DARE COMMENT, YOU LITTLE FREAK?! **She posted and shut her laptop. Travis Stoll was going to regret ever coming to Camp Half-Blood. She marched over to his cabin and flung open the door. There, sitting on his bunk was the culprit himself. "Uh…Katie…hi," he said, typing away furiously on his iPad. She snatched it away from him, accidently posting his comment:

**HELP! Somebody…OH NO…she's knocking…she's coming insi**

Hmm. What if Leo or Connor or someone came to rescue Travis? Now that wouldn't do. Katie posted another comment from Travis' account: **There is no need to worry I am completely fine – Travis **There, that would erase all suspicion.

Travis snatched the iPad back and typed another comment. **NOOOOOOOOOO!**

Ugh. **Please ignore that last comment- Travis**

She threw the iPad on Connor's bed and took out her dagger, a crazy smile painted on her lips. Pity she didn't stick around for a few more seconds. It would have been just in time for Leo's post to come up: **Leo Valdez has realized that Katie Gardner falling in love with you is dangerous for your health and Travis Stoll falling in love with you is bad news for your roof.**

* * *

><p>Katie grinned in satisfaction. That slippery son of Hermes had gotten exactly what he deserved. Smiling, she signed in to Facebook. The newest post was by Leo. Katie read it, her smile slowly getting replaced by a scowl.<p>

She typed her comment. **You're heading towards the same treatment as Travis, Leo.**

**And this time I'll be helping her. **Travis' comment came up a second after hers.

**I am the mighty Leo, Supreme Commander of the Argo II. You puny demigods cannot harm me. **Riiiiiiiiiight.

Scrolling down, scrolling down. Wait. What the hell was that?

_**Pan**_** wants to share a quote with all satyrs. Give a hoot, don't pollute!**

**(Grover Underwood, Gleeson Hedge, Don and 311 satyrs like this)**

Katie had to like satyrs because they were into nature but they were frankly more than a bit lame.

**MY LORD! I THOUGHT YOU HAD LEFT US! **Grover's comment immediately popped up. Katie could just imagine him hyperventilating in excitement.

**Well, if Facebook can reach Olympus how can you expect the Underworld to stay behind? **Pan replied.

Seriously? The Underworld had Facebook? Oh no! Now her mother could bug her all the way down from Hades's Place! Ugh…

A post from Jason came up:

_**Jason Grace**_** wants to ask Piper McLean if she will go to the fireworks with him. :)**

Boys were idiots. If Trav- ahh, someone asked her to go to the Fireworks on _Facebook_, she would so not go with Trav- um, them.

**YES! :D **Piper replied. Well, good for Jason she wasn't picky.

**There's so much love in the air, I can't stand it. First Travis, now Jason. How many more will be its prey? **And Leo Valdez comes along to ruin the romantic moment.

**Oh, shut up Valdez. **Piper replied.

And then the comment from Travis Stoll came up.

* * *

><p>A scream ripped through the air. Windows shattered. Birds fell out of their nests.<p>

Percy and Annabeth were in the stables, kissing each other's faces off. Annabeth pulled away from her boyfriend and stared at the cabins "Did you hear that? It sounded like a girl screaming."

"Whatever, Annabeth." Percy said in a bored voice. He wanted to go back to kissing. That was totally OOC of him, of course. But since the author had made ninety percent of the characters OOC, he didn't know why he couldn't be OOC as well.

* * *

><p>Back in the Demeter Cabin, the owner of the scream was staring at her laptop. Her eyes were fixed on a post made by a particular son of Hermes:<p>

_**Travis Stoll**_** Desperate times call for desperate measures. Even **_**Connor**_** has a date. Should I ask Katie out?**

**(Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase, Connor Stoll and 68 others like this)**

**I thought you knew that **_**I'M ON FACEBOOK!**_Fingers shaking with emotion, Katie typed her comment.

**Oops? **Travis replied.

Suddenly, Katie had a brilliant idea. Her sister Miranda was sitting at her desk on the opposite side of the room. Quietly, Katie snuck up behind her and grabbed her phone. "HEY!" Miranda cried, grabbing for the cellular device.

Miranda was already logged onto Facebook. Using one hand to restrain the struggling girl, Katie quickly commented something on Travis' post and handed Miranda her phone back. "Sorry," Katie muttered, and skipped back over to her beloved laptop.

Her… _Miranda's _comment had come up: **Definitely! I just know she'll say yes. You two would make such an awesome couple! :D **Mission accomplished.

**Seriously? You think so? Okay then! **Travis replied in a minute.

Her lips pushed their way into her cheek as a smile blossomed on Katie's face, all her murderous motions replaced. Her happiness was short-lived though. Another comment by Miranda – the real Miranda – came up. **Um Travis, just so you know Katie got into my account and posted that…**

* * *

><p>A second scream drowned out the chirping of the birds. This one sounded more masculine and seemed to be coming from the direction of the Hermes' cabin. "Percy, are you sure we shouldn't go and check out what's happening?" Annabeth asked anxiously.<p>

"Whatever," OOC Percy muttered.


	2. Chapter 2

Leo congratulated himself. Stalking people _did_ pay off after all. Giggling to himself (and earning quite a few dirty looks from his siblings who were trying to sleep on account of it being four in the morning,) Leo changed his status: **_Leo Valdez_ is wondering what Annabeth Chase was doing in Percy Jackson's cabin last night ;) **

There were obviously other very stalkerish people like him in camp because Nico, Thalia and Travis' likes showed up in less than a minute.

**Oh my god Leo, we were just discussing strategies for Capture the Flag, okay? And Tyson was there too! How did you know about it anyway? **Annabeth commented. Okay, exactly how many people were up at this time of the hour anyway?

**Malcolm told me when I came to ask for those blueprints. **Better lie. Leo wasn't in the mood to be on the receiving end of Annabeth's dagger.

**Thanks a lot, Malcolm. **Annabeth commented. Oops. Maybe he was going to be on the receiving end of Malcom's dagger instead.

**WHAT IS THIS I'M HEARING, ANNABETH? **Geez, Athena seriously needed to lighten up.

**Oh great, you saw my comment mom… WAR STRATEGIES! **Right. Leo was still not so sure about that part. Better check with Tyson, this could be excellent blackmail material.

**You get too hyper Athena. Am I reacting this way getting to know that Percy's doing…whatever he's doing**, Poseidon commented.

**DAD! War strategies?** Percy too? What was _wrong_ with this camp's sleep patterns? Weirdos.

**OF COURSE SON… If you say so ;) **Poseidon commented.

**Parents… **Percy's comment came up. Annabeth liked it in less than a fraction of a second. Leo thought about clicking the thumbs up button too but then he figured it might be safer to make Annabeth and Malcolm think that he'd gone to sleep or something.

He scrolled down, looking for more blackmail material. Aha, post by Nico.

**_Nico di Angelo_ has just gotten to know what awesome massages skeletal soldiers can give.**

Persephone had liked Nico's post. Well anything related to Persephone that didn't involve being turned into a flower was certainly an improvement.

**For the first time in your life, you said something sensible. **Her comment came up.

**You don't come here to go to the spa, Niko. **Hades posted. Well. At least Hephaestus knew how to spell "Leo." But then, who didn't?

Nico replied, **At least learn how my name is spelled before commenting on my posts :/**

**An idiot could see the boy needs cereal! **That was of course, Demeter. What was with this woman and cereal?

**Demeter, can you please keep yourself and your cereal out of this? **Absolutely correct Hades was.

**Humph! You won't achieve anything through your non-cereal ways… Don't say I didn't warn you. **Leo could just imagine Demeter playing the lead role in a movie: Cereal with Benefits. Whatever, Leo didn't have time for Nico's tragic life.

Now _this _looked inviting:

**_Apollo_ has proof that he is elder to Artemis.**

Oh.

Yes.

Apollo was _so_ going to get it! If only there was a way to get it on video…

**You should NOT have posted that, son. **Zeus commented

**Ditto… **Hermes commented, too.

Lady Athena posted, **I think you can 'foresee' that you're going to have a bad day. **She had a good sense of humor. Maybe Leo could borrow some one-liners from her database of jokes. She was sure to have some good ones; being the goddess of wisdom and all that.

**You've had it now… **Dionysus comment came up too.

**Cereal will make you feel better once Artemis is done with you. **Oh. God. Couldn't Demeter _think _about anything else? Was she stalking Leo with cereal related comments at every post his eyes fell upon? Or was he just getting paranoid? Probably the former.

**And exactly WHAT 'proof' do you have, Apollo? **And Lady Artemis was on the scene

**The awesome haiku that I composed an hour ago…? **Oops. Bad answer, Apollo.

***Facepalm* **Lord Poseidon hit the nail on the head!

**Do you need help packing your bags to leave town? **Hermes asked.

**I suggest you hide, Lord Apollo. Lady Artemis just left us to go on an 'important mission.' **Thalia posted.

Oh no, Leo was going to miss watching Apollo being beaten up! If only he could somehow get transported to Mount Olympus! Leo scrolled down, coming upon a post by… Gasp! Chiron! He was shocked to see the centaur on Facebook. Leo peered at the post:

**Chiron has realized that the introduction between Lupa and the Party Ponies did not go well.**

Lupa and the Party Ponies? That was a big no-no. Leo threw back his head and laughed. Nyssa gave him the Evil Eye from her bed on his right. "Sorry," he muttered and went back to reading.

**You think so? They pelted me with paintballs! **Lupa had commented. Kill-joy. Paintballs were fun!

**We don't have time to learn Latin! **Larry, from the New Mexico chapter commented.

Owen from the South Dakota chapter posted,** Yeah, can you believe it? She's never had root beer! **Never had root beer? Leo shook his head disapprovingly.

He scrolled down, glancing at a post by Connor:

**_Connor Stoll_ is bored.**

Travis and sixteen other bored-in-life people had liked the post. It was freaking four in the morning! What did they expect? Thalia doing cartwheels in a pink frock? Yeah, right.

**I would advise people to watch out because we all know what the Stolls do to relieve boredom. **Percy commented.

**Oh haha, Percy. No, I'm trying to figure out ways I can get my stupid brother and Katie to admit that they like each other. **Connor commented. Well yeah, it wasn't any news that Katie and Travis were desperately and irrevocably in love with each other.

**How many times do I have to remind people that I am FREAKING ON FACEBOOK! **Katie commented. Leo was sure that Connor just didn't think that _Katie _of all people would be up at this hour.

**Ditto… **Travis commented, too.

**DON'T YOU DARE DITTO ME STOLL! **Geez, Katie got irritated with Travis so easily.

**Ditto! Ditto! Ditto! **Connor commented again.

Katie's comment came up, **:/ I wonder what Miranda sees in you.**

I wonder what _Miranda_ sees in you? This was _awesome_ blackmail material.

**WHATT? **Hah, looked like Travis was slightly unaware of his brother's relationships.

**Oh yeah, I think I forgot to tell you… **Lame excuse, Connor. The comments ended there. Pouting, Leo headed over to Ares' profile. There was something wrong with the God of War these days. Aha! Leo giggled looking at Ares' newest post:

**_Ares_ is reading Cinderella.**

**(Aphrodite likes this)**

Clarisse had commented, **That's it. KILL ME NOW!**

**You still can't be taking his side Aphrodite… **Hephaestus had posted. Leo sighed, wishing his father would stop lusting after that goddess. What made it worse was that she was Piper's _mom_. That was just too disgusting to even think about. Did that mean that he and Piper were step siblings? Eww.

Aphrodite had commented, **Cinderella is a story about ME Hephaestus. I was the fairy god mother who helped her find TRUE LOVE! I MEAN SERIOUSLY CAN STORIES GET MORE ROMANTIC AND TRAGIC AND- I WAS IN IT OF COURSE IT'S SO FAMOUS! :")  
><strong>

**Just finished it. Awesome book. Right up there with Bloody Wars. **Ares commented.

**:/ **Leo's father had commented.

Poseidon also commented, ***Facepalm* **Hmm, this was good blackmail material. Maybe he should check out some other gods' profiles too. Leo might find something interesting. Smiling like an idiot, Leo clicked on Poseidon's profile. The latest post in which Poseidon had been tagged was:

**Athena is wondering what it is with Poseidon and this *Facepalm.* **True that Athena. True that.

Poseidon had commented, **And they call her the wisdom goddess.**

**I **_**am**_** the wisdom goddess. **Poseidon was so in for it. Never insult Athena's brains, Ares' strength or Apollo's haikus. These three gods had huge egos. And Leo, unfortunately, spoke from experience.

**Facepalm is your palm on your face…ah, literally speaking. **Percy commented.

Poseidon had commented, **See! My son's always right! **Yeah, right.

**Duh! An idiot would have figured that out. **Athena too commented.

**Are you calling me an idiot? **Ooh, another Pothena war! But they really seemed to turn up like, every minute.

**YES! Now you get it. **Athena replied.

**Here we go again. **Hermes had commented. Leo wanted to hug the God of Thieves. Finally someone understood his need of a non-cliché fight! What about Percy and Katie? Couldn't they fight each other? Or maybe Piper and Chiron? NO! It just _had_ to be the same couples over, and over again! This author _really_ lacked originality.

**AT LEAST I DON'T THROW BOOKS ACROSS THE THRONE ROOM WHEN I'M ANGRY! **Why the hell did Poseidon need to shout so _loudly_? Leo could almost feel his ears ringing!

**AT LEAST, UNLIKE YOU, I HAVE BRAINS! **Ooh, Athena was getting personal!

**AT LEAST MY KIDS DON'T SPROUT FROM MY BRAINS! **And Poseidon was beating her record of getting personal.

**Oh, you've crossed the line now! **Really Athena?

At least this wasn't as bad as the time when Athena cursed Poseidon and he couldn't speak without adding "Athena rocks" at the end of every sentence. And then Poseidon cursed Athena and she couldn't have a bath for a month. Sometimes the gods behaved so immaturely.

**You two need to fight less and have more cereal. **OH GOD. And Demeter just had to come along. His theory of her being a cereal-stalker had been confirmed.

**You just ruined the fight, Demeter… **Poseidon commented.

**I know, right? **Athena commented. Wait. _Athena_ commented.?

**OMFG ITS A MIRACLE. Someone call the doctor! These two AGREED on something. **Hermes commented, voicing Leo's thoughts.

**Um, you are the doctor Hermes. The god of doctors… **Trust Athena to spot such an unimportant detail in the midst of this rare event.

**Yeah, yeah, mock the god. **Hermes replied. Oh no, that was the end. Finally an interesting post and the author leaves it at a cliffhanger. Leo yelled in frustration, muttering curses to the invisible author and banging on the fourth wall. Jake Mason glared at him, pulling his covers over his head. Leo glared back. He scrolled down looking for more posts on Poseidon's wall. Leo chuckled as he came across a post by Tyson:

**Tyson is being yelled at by Poseidon for having "Peanut Butter" as a battle cry and embarrassing him in front of the gods.**

A very embarrassed Poseidon had commented underneath, **You didn't have to post that on FB son.**

**Percy told me that I have to post everything that happens to me on Facebook. **Tyson replied.

**Ahh…never mind Percy. He's not always right.** Leo burst out laughing, remembering Poseidon's "My son is always right!" comment.

Jake shot him another _look_.

***Facepalm* **Athena commented. Leo yawned. Maybe it was time to give sleep a chance. He was just about to close Facebook when a new notification popped up. Ooh, he'd been tagged in Jason's status! Leo grinned evilly, remembering a particular _object_ of Jason he'd stolen two days ago. Sure enough, Jason had written:

**Jason Grace is begging Leo Valdez to give **_**that**_** back… PLEASE!**

Leo rubbed his hands together, swiftly typing his comment. He smiled as it came up, **Oh no, Jason. I'm not going to give **_**that**_** back so easily.**

**What is **_**that**_**? **Piper commented.

**It's not…? **Hazel asked.

**You're right Hazel, it is. **Jason , so even Hazel knew what _that_ was.

**WHAT? **Beauty Queen was getting frustrated.

**The one who helped Jason get over the loss of his friends in the titan war. The one who has a very important place in his heart. **Hazel had typed in reply. Leo smirked. When Hazel said it like that…it sounded like _that_ was a person.

He understood that Hazel was trying to make Piper jealous. And she was succeeding awesomely. He had to make her give him classes.

**Oh my gods… WHO? I didn't expect this from you Jason :'( **Piper's reaction was even better than he expected!

**No Piper… You don't understand. Can I tell you in private? Not on Facebook? **Leo could almost imagine Jason's desperate expression as he typed the words.

**Who is it? Reyna, I guess. **Poor Piper.

**SEE WHAT A MESS YOU CREATED, LEO? WILL YOU GIVE **_**THAT**_** BACK? **Jason commented.

Leo huffed with annoyance and typed his comment. **Hey! I didn't ask you to post it on facebook! Do you want me to tell everyone who **_**that**_** is to "clear up the mess" then?**

**NO! DON'T! Piper will break up with me! **Jason was right. If Piper found out she would most certainly break up with him. Leo would have if it was him. Oh wait, that didn't sound right.

**Something doesn't add up, how can Reyna be a **_**that**_**? **Ugh, and Annabeth had to come along and ruin the fun with her brains.

But Piper was not to be diverted from her Cheating Jason thoughts. **Probably Reyna's love letters or something!**

**No Piper, its nothing related to that! **Jason's comment came up.

**Then what is it related to? **The ever suspicious Piper asked.

**Can I PLEASE tell you in private? **Oh shoot, Jason was going to ruin the joke.

**HOW MUCH MORE PRIVATE DO YOU WANT? YOU'RE SITTING IN FRONT OF ME STARING AT YOUR LAPTOP! **Hmm, why the hell were Jason and Piper together at four a.m? Suspicious…

**Fine…listen… **Jason typed. He obviously couldn't just say that to Piper, who was sitting right in front of him, for some unknown reason, which most probably included a secret meeting, TO WHICH THEY DIDN'T INVITE LEO. He was so going to have his own secret meeting with Connor and Travis and not call either of those back-stabbing demigods. Leo was brought back to reality with the arrival of another post:

**Piper McLean just learnt what **_**that **_**is.**

**See? I told you! umm…you didn't have to post in on Facebook by the way. **Jason commented.

Leo growled in frustration. Then he had a thought. They were obviously trying to make him jealous, right? So if he didn't _appear_ jealous, he would be _outwitting them! _Smiling at his genius, Leo typed in the following comment: **Hilarious, right?**

**I know! I don't believe I was going to beak up with Jason over **_**that**_**. **Piper replied

**LOL. IKR. **Hazel commented.

**Can you guys PLEASE shut up? **Poor Jason. Leo smirked, enjoying Jason's discomfort.

**NO! Not after you made me think **_**that**_** was your girlfriend! **Piper commented.

Maybe Leo should comment too. All the more to appear chill pill. **NO! Not after you made **_**that**_** so hard to steal!**

Hazel of course had to join them, **NO! This is TOO FUNNY to end!**

Leo leaned back, lost in his fantasies of the Leo and Friends secret club. Suddenly, the Hephaestus cabin door opened. Annabeth peeked inside uncertainly, 'Uh, guys? Chiron sent me to find out why you haven't turned up at the forges…?'

Leo snorted. "Who goes to the forges at four a.m?." He asked.

"Um…it's actually four _p.m._," Annabeth replied.

Leo glanced at his watch. "SHOOT!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Before you start reading, please cast your eye here.**

**Thank you~**

**I've been very rude in the last two chapters not bothering to explain why all the chapters of this story are suddenly deleted and it's being rewritten. Well, as you all know, this story was against the rules. After I realized that, I decided to rewrite it, replacing all the chapters one by one. But recently, the deletion of stories has increased by a tenfold. And I didn't want people to report the story anonymously and for it to get deleted because of the later chapters. Besides, I'm not that fond of some of the earlier chapters. I'll be improving the writing in those. Updating will be slow at the moment but you can expect me to update faster after Chapter 5 is posted because those ones are shorter. Remember the profiles? ;) I'm not sure about continuing the story after the twenty original chapters are done with; I still have to decide.**

**I would also like to thank all the awesome people who still continue to review and commented on my new format. THANKS :D**

**And I apologize for the craptistic quality of the latter half of this chapter. In my defense, I was in a hurry.**

**And now you may begin reading :)~~**

* * *

><p>Hazel Levesque was trembling like a leaf behind her iPad. Jason was so going to kill her. So she'd better only come clean when she knew that he was in a good mood But no, she couldn't tell him <em>anytime <em>that she'd told _everyone_ at camp his secret! Better start with Reyna; it was obvious that he still liked her to a certain degree. Well, here went to nothing!

**_Hazel Levesque_ is VERY, EXTREMELY sorry for telling Reyna what **_**that**_** is.**

Piper immediately liked Hazel's post. What did that mean? Maybe Piper told Reyna too…

Oh no, Jason commented, **Hazel! How could you?**

Best go with the helpless-little-girl strategy. **Sorryy Jason, but she's the praetor! And she asked me! I couldn't refuse!**

**Um…Piper told me too… **Annabeth commented. Oho, so _that's _why Piper had liked Hazel's post.

**PIPER? I thought you could keep a secret. **Jason commented in reply. HA! At least she wasn't the only one Jason was upset with.

**I was threatened, Jason! WITH A KNIFE! **Humph, Piper was playing the defenseless girl too. Copycat.

**Don't exaggerate, Piper. I asked a casual question while polishing my knife ;) **Came Annabeth's reply.

**Ooh! Reyna told me what **_**that**_** is!** Octavian commented. Oh no. Jason might just kill her now. But this was Reyna's fault, wasn't it? _Not _Hazel's…

**OMFG REYNA! And to think I ever kissed you! **Jason replied.

OH.

GOD.

Jason kissed Reyna?

JASON KISSED REYNA?

Hazel took a screenshot from her iPad. This was _so _going down in her Blackmail Diary.

**I'm sorry Jason, but there must be no secrets between lovers. **Rena's reply came up.

Ew, Reyna and Octavian? Maybe that should go down in the Blackmail Diary too, for when Reyna came to her senses.

**YOU KISSED HER? **Piper commented. Ooh, jealous girlfriend. BLACKMAIL DIARY! Poor Jason. What with the _that _secret and this entire love triangle issue, he must be having a bad couple of days.

**If we're using the "no secrets between lovers" excuse, is it safe to say that Hazel told me? **Frank commented. Ugh. Stupid Frank. Stupid, stupid Frank. As the great Suzanne Collins said, "stupid people are dangerous". She so needed to break up with Frank. Hazel shared a lot more in common with Leo, like BLACKMAIL.

**I shall choose to ignore Piper and HAZEL? THAT'S TWO PEOPLE YOU'VE TOLD! **Came Jason's reply. Yeah, right, just ignore the angry girlfriend and focus on the defenseless little girl.

**Make that three. I accidentally shadow traveled there while Hazel was telling Reyna. **Nico commented. Ugh, Hazel could kill her older brother at the moment!

**And I err… I sort of **_**heard**_** Annabeth & Piper talking. **Percy commented too. Yeah, Percy. You totally just _heard _Annabeth and Piper talking.

Jason commented, **IS THERE ANYONE LEFT WHO DOES NOT KNOW MY SECRET? **Oops, poor dude.

**Um… Guys? You might want to stop confessing; Jason's tearing his hair out. **Piper commented. Back to concerned girlfriend, then? Oh well, it was good while it lasted.

Better apologize though. Or Jason might even refuse to talk to her. **Okay. I guess I shouldn't tell him how I told Bobby and Dakota and Gwen and Hank and Jacob and Larry. Sorry again Jason :'( **She commented. Ah, that was a nice little apology! She even told him the names of the people she told his secret to but didn't tell him!

Unfortunately, Piper changed the subject before anyone could recognize her genius: **Isn't it a little weird that the only person who's managed to keep the secret is Leo? He must be turning over a new leaf! **Huh, Leo turning over a new leaf? Piper could not be more mistaken.

**NO ONE! NO ONE INSULTS LEO VALDEZ'S ABILITY TO BE ANNOYING AND CREATE TROUBLE! I SHALL SHOW YOU NOW… **Leo replied in less than a second.

**Yawn… **Piper commented.

Hazel sighed. Whatever Leo was going to do now could _not _be anything good. She scrolled back to the top of her home page. There was a new post by Leo. Hazel scanned the writing, her eyes getting bigger and bigger with every word:

**Leo Valdez is about to reveal the secret of **_**that**_**. Get ready! **_**That**_** is Jason Grace's teddy bear! **

_Jason was going to kill Leo._

A comment by Thalia came up, **Jason, you have a teddy? :O**

**Thank you so much Leo. Btw I'm deleting you from my friend's list. And I want my karaoke player back. **Jason commented, ignoring Thalia.

***GASP* NOT THE KARAOKE PLAYER! **Leo replied. Hazel sighed. Trust Leo to be more worried about a karaoke player than the fact that his best friend was majorly upset with him. Maybe she should ditch Leo and just stick to Frank.

**Is it the blonde one, with the pink ribbon that I almost gutted? **Octavian asked. Hazel allowed herself a small smirk. Octavian had unearthed Jason's teddy bear on one of his snooping missions. To say that Jason freaked when he found out would be the understatement of the century

**Yes Octavian:/ **Jason commented in reply.

Suddenly, a new notification popped up. It said- "You have been tagged in Aphrodite's status" Hazel raised her eyebrows. The Goddess of Love had tagged her in something? This could not be good.

She clicked on the message. Aphrodite's post read:

**Aphrodite made a list of the Top 5 Cutest Couples Ever!**

**5. Thalico**

**4. Tratie**

**3. Frazel**

**2. Jasper**

**1. Percabeth**

Hazel read the list in confusion. Why was she tagged in Frazel? What did that mean? Her name was Hazel, not Frazel. Maybe Aphrodite didn't know how to spell her name. Or maybe she'd forgotten Hazel's name. Yeah, that must be it.

Percy commented, expressing Hazel's befuddlement, **What are those strange words? :/**

**Oooooh, I'm so clever! I made mixtures of the couples' names. **Aphrodite replied. Oh, that was it. So Frazel basically meant Frank plus Hazel. Well, that was cute!

**You have exhibited intelligence for once in your life, Aphrodite. I am very prou- Wait! Does that mean that… OMGGG how dare you put my daughter with that boy first, Aphrodite? **Athena too commented. Hazel giggled. It was funny watching Athena going bonkers about 'Percabeth'.

**Is Jasper me and Jason? **Piper asked

**Yes! **Aphrodite commented in reply.

**Frazel! Frank and Hazel! It sounds like something's very FRIZZLED! HAHA LOL I'M SO FUNNY! **Leo commented. Agh, what was wrong with that Latino elf?

**Very funny, Leo! :p **Hazel typed and posted.

Katie commented, **WHY? Why is my name with Travis'? Ugh! **And Katie going bonkers about 'Tratie'.

**Wtf? Is that what Thalico think it is? **Nico commented. Hazel scrolled back up, looking for Thalico. There it was, fifth on Aphrodite's list. The "ico" obviously stood for Nico. The "Thal"…it stood for THALIA! It had to! Aphrodite was dead. Artemis would hunt her down and shoot five arrows through her heart.

Thalia's comment came up in agreement to Hazel's discovery, **Aphrodite? I AM A FREAKING HUNTER. **Hazel happily jotted down the conversation in her Blackmail Diary. Facebook was proving to be awesomely useful for blackmail means.

She went back to her home page. The newest post was:

**Luke Castellan changed his name to Draco Malfoy.**

Okay. Was Luke high or something?

**Huh? Who's Draco Malfoy? **Annabeth asked.

**Luke chose rebirth. He's been born into this weird family in London where they fight with wooden sticks.**

Oh, Luke had chosen rebirth! Poor him, who would want to be born into a crazy family like that?

**Oh…poor Luke… **Annabeth replied.

Well, that was a random status. Hazel scrolled down looking for _better _blackmail information. Aha, jackpot, Hazel though her eyes gleaming, looking at Thalia's status of what looked like a continuation of "Thalico" romance:

**Thalia Grace SO TOTALLY beat Nico di Angelo in sword fighting! 8D  
><strong>

**Omg. You and Nico went sword fighting!? **Percy commented. Looked like he wasn't going to let the "Thalico" thing either.

**Yes? **Thalia replied. Poor thing. That wasn't usually a phrase used to describe the hunter of Artemis too much, but when it came to love…

**How come? **Annabeth asked.

**Um. Well, he challenged me… **Thalia replied.

**OH! MY! GODS! Nico, you're so on with the whole "Thalico" thing. JUST ADMIT IT! You were flirting with Thalia! Wasn't he Thalia? WASN'T HE? **Percy commented.

**NO! Um, we were just talking…and joking… **Thalia commented in reply

**AHAHHAH THIS IS EPIC! **Percy posted. Yes it is! Hazel gleefully though, furiously jotting down everything in her diary.

**SHUT UP, PERCY! **Nico finally decided to comment. Ooh, Hazel could so imagine her brother holed up somewhere blushing like anything. When di Angelo got to caps, you could tell that something was going on, all right!

Artemis commented, **Is there a special ceremony in the Underworld when a child of Hades dies? **Well that depended if getting turned into a plant counted? Though Nico had already experienced that numerous times. Hazel pitied her brother; at least she didn't have to spend downtime as a germanium. Scrolling down, down, down… Aha, post by Leo.

**Leo Valdez is the BOY. ON. FIREEEEEEEEEE!**

Oh goodness, just more of Leo's stupid boasting.

Suddenly, a "Seamus Finnigan" commented, **I think you're mistaken, man. That's me. **Okay, who was this random guy?

**Excuse me? **_**I**_** am the girl on fire. **A Katniss Everdeen commented. What the hell?

**Who are you people? **Leo asked, **b****tw the lady seems hot ;) **Trust Leo to flirt with completely unknown people.

**Shut up freak. What am I even doing here? **Hazel was starting to like this Katniss Everdeen a bit more.

**You were totally destined to comment on my post, love. **Leo commented again. Hazel covered her face with her hands. Leo was so embarrassing! How could she ever have thought about _dating _the dude? Ew!

**Ohkayyyyyyy. Have you considered medical help? BYE. **Katniss Everdeen commented.

**Weird people :/ **The other boy, Seamus commented.

Leo replied, **:'( **Huh. Served him right. She went back up. No new posts. What was Hazel supposed to do now? Maybe she should ask Jason to give her some sword fighting lessons. But no, Jason was still upset with her. She should totally write him an apology. Hazel went to her friends list and clicked on Jason's profile. She scrolled down his wall for a second, because, you know, it was practically her job to. His newest update was:

**Jason Grace is now friends with Mr. Fluffy Bear.**

Okay, seriously? Being embarrassed about his teddy was good for Jason but WHY THE HELL DID THE BLOODY TEDDY HAVE A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT?

**Um… Who's Mr. Fluffy Bear? **Percy asked.

**My teddy. Now that my secret is out, I might as well introduce him to facebook. **Jason replied. No. No, no, no, no, no! Jason was going mad. He had to be taken to a mental hospital.

**Are you sure that you haven't caught anything from Ares, Jason? **Piper commented.

**Piper! Respect your mother's boyfriend! **Aphrodite replied to Piper's comment.

**Eww! **Piper had typed.

**Leo Valdez: Woah! Does that mean that Piper and I are step-siblings? 'Cause Hephaestus and Aphrodite are married, ya know…? **Hazel wrinkled her nose in disgust. Leo really needed to get his priorities straight.

**GOD JUST SHUT UP LEO! Mr. Fluffy Bear is seeing all these posts! **Great, so now the teddy could read. What next? Was Jason going to make the poor thing wear a toga and sit next to the jelly beans in the senate next? Living or not, he would be sure to die of embarrassment.

**WTF?! **Piper commented. Such truth in three letters, Hazel thought while clicking the "like" button for Piper's comment.

**DON'T SWEAR PIPER! Mr. Fluffy Bear might pick up bad words. **Jason commented. Seriously?

Piper had typed, **I've had enough… **Agreement could not be more intense. Well, Hazel didn't feel like apologizing too much now. She went back to her home page. A new post by Rachel caught her eye.:

**A teddy bear of the son of Jupiter**

**Who has had care and love bestowed upon her**

**Shall be killed by a daughter of the dove**

**Who wishes to save the one she loves**

**From descending into insanity**

**The teddy will not receive any pity**

**(Piper McLean and 9,999 others like this)**

Okay, this was something along the lines of the worst prophecy Hazel had ever heard. The list counting all the times Octavian had been convinced that he was an oracle and tried to make up his own prophecies to convince everyone else too. But if it meant what Hazel thought it meant, well, it could be a lifesaver.

**That is the suckiest prophecy EVER :/ **Rachel commented.

**Don't worry; I'm going to ensure that it gets completed. **Piper replied. Hazel grinned. This was going to be fun.

**CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLAYTUPUS! I MEAN, PIPER THE DEMIGOD! **Jason commented. Hazel's eyebrows shot up. Phineas and Ferb was an awesome show and all that but hey, when you're learning how to fight with swords, it seemed a little childish in comparison.

**You need medical attention bro! NOW! **Percy comented.

A comment by Piper came up, **No need to thank me 8D **Oh god, what did Piper _do_!?

Hazel quickly typed her comment,** Why? What did you do?**

**Killed the teddy. **Piper replied. Hazel smiled in glee.

**Congratulations on finishing my unfinished task! If you can have the teddy sent over to Camp Jupiter, it will be excellent for predictions. **Octavian commented. Hazel rolled her eyes. She wasn't going to let Octavian spoil this glorious moment.

Piper replied in less than a second, **You can count on it! :D The sooner the thing gets out of camp, the better.**

**HOW DARE YOU? **Jason finally commented. Hazel chuckled and scrolled down.

Ooh, Zeus had changed his relationship status to "single". Had he and Hera finally decided to divorce? She cast her eyes over to the comments section.

**HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SINGLE?! **Hera had commented.

**SORRY! I didn't mean you darling. I just broke up with Charlene. Totally forgot that I had a wife! **Zeus had replied back. Uh oh, bad move, Uncle Zeus.

**Uhh…scratch that. My fingers just clicked the "single" button accidentally…sorry…**Zeus commented again, trying- and failing- to set things right.

**I AM GOING TO SEND YOU AND YOUR CHARLENE TO THE PITS OF TARTARUS! **Hera commented again. Hazel winced. She wouldn't like to be the God of Skies at the moment.


	4. Chapter 4

**Helloo, ladies and gentlemen. It's been a long time. Such a long time that I already have a forum and a community up! It's for entering prompts, challenges etc. But it really isn't going to amount to much without ****_you_****. Yes, I'm talking to you right there. Because it's so much fun to see it grow and I ****_love _****new people.**

**On a different topic altogether, I deleted some of the last hundred words. I didn't feel like writing them and I really wanted to get this up. You shall find them in the next chapter.**

**And the shameless plugger that I am, a reminder: GO CHECK OUT MY FORUM!**

* * *

><p>Annabeth smirked as she accepted the friend request. Her boyfriend was going to kill her… After he got over his embarrassment and decided to come out of his cabin. A new message popped up on her wall:<p>

**Annabeth Chase is now friends with Sally Jackson.**

Poseidon immediately liked it.

Then the much awaited comment by Perseus Jackson popped up, **Wtf?! **Ooh Percy was in trouble; Sally would be getting notifications for this.

True to Annabeth's suspicion, Sally's reply cam up a minute later, **Hey honey! I'm on Facebook! Annabeth made an account for me! So...what does wtf mean? **_Oh Gods_, Percy was probably going to be dying a thousand times before he got a chance to kill Annabeth.

Percy replied quickly, **Uh…it means…um…WELCOME TO FACEBOOK! Yeah, welcome to Facebook, mom! **Annabeth stared at the comment for five seconds and then burst out laughing. Welcome to Facebook. That wasn't going to last long.

**Thank you Percy! **Sally commented. Annabeth frowned. Sally was on Facebook for the sole purpose of getting Percy into a lot of trouble. He couldn't get away with this! But he would kill her even more if she blatantly told Sally the meaning of WTF.

Annabeth typed out her comment and pressed enter. **Yeah, sure Percy! ;) Welcome to Facebook…**

Percy chose to ignore her comment. **How are you friends with my mother before **_**I'm**_** friends with my mother?**

Annabeth shook her head. Seaweed Brains will always stay Seaweed Brains. **Uh…because I'm the one who bothered to introduce her to Facebook?**

Percy's reply came up immediately, **There's a reason I didn't introduce her to Facebook!**

**The same reason **_**I**_** introduced her to Facebook! **Annabeth sent, grinning. She loved arguing with her boyfriend. It was the one thing that the stupid author kept in character in this stupid story.

**I'm going to kill you! **Percy replied. Like this, everyone _knew _that Percy would never threaten to kill her. It was typically the other way round. But no! The author _had_ to have her own way. Annabeth was brought back to the three walls by Sally's comment.

She read it, smiling: **Percy! Don't be rude…!**

**THIS IS THE REASON! **Percy's comment popped up on the screen. Obviousness was completely lost on Seaweed Brain. But Percy was going to keep fooling Sally. If she wanted her plan to work Annabeth would have to bring another piece into the game. She quickly opened her email account and typed up the following email:

**Hello Mr. Blofis! How are you doing? As you may or may not know, I recently introduced your wife to Facebook. I really think that you should get on there because she and Poseidon were getting way **_**too**_** chummy over the wall posts. I'm sure Sally doesn't mean anything but you know Poseidon. Greek Mythology is like a diary of his flirting. I just thought you should know this :)**

**-Annabeth Chase**

Satisfied, Annabeth clicked send. That would get Paul faster to Facebook than a person with incorrect punctuation. Or maybe not. Just to be sure, Annabeth updated her status: **omg' gues wat I was; sword practicing wid percyyyyy!1!11! omg lyk so much" fun….**

There, that should do it. Her siblings were going to think that she was off her rocker, but it was all worth it to get Seaweed Brain finally busted. Annabeth scrolled back to the top. She had one new friend request. Sure enough, it was Paul! Giggling, Annabeth accepted it. "Um, Annabeth?" Annabeth looked up to see who had called her. It was her half-brother Malcolm.

"What do you want Malcolm? Can't you see that I'm busy?" Annabeth said in a superior manner, gesturing to her laptop.

"Um, yeah. You see, I saw your status and you were giggling when I walked in so I just thought that…"

"Later," she murmured, not feeling like explaining stuff to the silly boy. Malcolm nodded awkwardly and walked out. Annabeth turned her eyes back to the screen. She smiled. Now let's see how Percy would respond to that!

**Annabeth Chase is now friends with Paul Blofis. **

Percy's response came up immediately, **Come on Annabeth! He's an English professor! There's no way he's gonna approve of Facebook!**

**Percy, welcome your step father to Facebook **_**nicely**_**! Wtf Paul! **Sally replied.

Annabeth stifled a laugh. "Annabeth!"

Annabeth turned to look at Thalia. "What?! Can't you see that I'm doing something?"

"I think you're becoming too addicted to Facebook. I saw your wall post and Malcolm said he heard you giggle and _I _just heard you giggle-"

"Oh my god, do away!" Annabeth exclaimed exasperatedly.

Thalia narrowed her eyes. "I will stay right here with you," she stated before sitting down on Annabeth's bed.

Annabeth rolled her eyes and turned them back to the screen. Paul had already started to correct grammar.** Hello Percy! By the way you forgot to put a that before he's. And gonna isn't a word. It's **_**going to**_**. What does wtf mean, Sally? **There was no way Percy could get out of this now.

**You'll have to guess! It's something Percy taught me. **Sally had responded

**We Teach Flamingoes? **Paul posted his first guess. Thalia giggled. Annabeth shot her an I-told-you-so look.

**Not even close. **Sally commented

**Win The Farmers? **Paul asked again.

Thalia rolled her eyes. "This is what you've been doing so long? Introducing Percy's parents to Facebook?"

**Nope. **Sally replied

"He gets away with too much," Annabeth stated defensively.

**I'll Google it! **Paul commented. Annabeth grinned wickedly. "See, there's no way he's getting out of trouble now."

**Percy Jackson: NO! I mean…that won't be necessary. Mom will tell you. **Percy commented. "He just did," Thalia replied, pointing towards the laptop screen.

**Yes! It means Welcome To Facebook! **Sally commented in reply.

Annabeth looked at Thalia sullenly. "That was the first time. And it was a close call."

Paul responded, **I should have guessed that! **

**I agree. It's a little obvious. **Sally commented.

"Oh come on, Annabeth," Thalia said, snatching the laptop from her. She quickly typed up a comment and pressed enter. "There. That's the most obvious _hint_ you could give," she said.

Annabeth looked at the screen. Thalia had commented, **Someone's in **_**trou-ble**_**. **Thalia winked at her and flounced out of the room. Annabeth sighed and picked up her laptop again. She scrolled right to the top.

The first status was: **Dionysus has found a way to sneak alcohol into camp B-) **Dionysus was mad; Zeus was on Facebook!

Sure enough, Zeus' comment showed up in less than a minute, **Really son…?**

**DAD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON FB? **Dionysus replied. Not a very wise reply. Dionysus obviously realized that and quickly sent another comment. **I mean… What a pleasant surprise! I did not know that my dad had a facebook account. Imagine that! **Which wasn't a very wise reply either.

A comment by Percy came up,** Yeah, there's a lot of that going around today. **Annabeth fought hard to stop the giggle from escaping. She'd had enough of the consequences _that _brought.

**And imagine you finding a way "to sneak alcohol into camp".' **Zeus replied.

**I was only joking father. **Dionysus wrote. Yeah, like he was going to get out of this now.

**So, I'm "father" now, am I? **Zeus asked in his comment.

**Uhm… **Dionysus commented.

Well, _someone _was sure getting in trouble with their father. But it wasn't Percy. Annabeth smiled as another brainwave hit her. She opened her email again and scrolled down to a contact. Triton, a son of Poseidon. Giggling, she typed up another email and clicked the send button.


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm really, really sorry for skipping a chapter. I know I'm a lazy ass procrastinator but that stupid chapter is what hasn't made me update in months because every time I looked at that two thousand word doc I would just closed it and say, "tomorrow." Anyway, that's the one in which Nico and Rachel get together so that's why the sudden Thalico to Rico jump.**

* * *

><p><strong>Name:<strong> Percy Jackson

**Age: **16

**Home: **New York

**Current Location: **On my bed.

**Interested In: **Sword fighting, Annabeth and making Gaea go back to sleep.

**In A Relationship: **With Annabeth Chase.

* * *

><p>Typing out the last words on his profile, Percy leaned back in his bed and sighed. He'd tried to mention Annabeth everywhere on his profile so that everyone would know that they were going out. Should he add "with Annabeth" to his current location? No, that would give people bad ideas.<p>

He refreshed the page to check for comments and saw that a new post had popped up on his wall. **Percy! You're on Facebook! Hephaestus got me my own laptop, you know? Now we can chat whenever we want! **Percy bit back a curse. If Annabeth saw that post, his life would officially be over.

He quickly typed up a response. **Uh. Okay. Tell you what? Let's chat. Just don't post anything on my wall, okay?**

**But why? **Calypso asked in reply.

Hands poised on the keyboard, Percy searched his brain for an answer. Because…because…

The question was answered when a comment by Annabeth popped up. **BECAUSE I SAID SO, BITCH!**

**OOH, LOOOOOK. Annabeth's using caps. You'd better watch out, Callie. Wouldn't want you to get hurt before our date. ;) **Leo wrote.

Percy sighed. The last thing he needed to cause more drama was Leo hooking up with Calypso.

**Um, okay. Who are you? **A confused Calypso asked.

He had to do something fast. He had to get Calypso off his wall. **Calypso! I said hi to you! In a **_**chat**_**! Why don't you stop posting on my wall and we can chat.**

**WHY DO YOU WANT TO CHAT WITH HER, JACKSON? IS IT SOMETHING TOO**_** PRIVATE**_** FOR YOUR WALL? **

Percy cringed as his plan backfired. It didn't help that Leo chose that moment to comment again. **Can you tell her to spare you a little, Percy? We have a Capture the Flag game tonight and I really don't think we'll have a chance of winning if you're lying half-dead in the infirmary.**

**Shut up, Leo. **Percy typed, imagining each key to be Leo's nose and stabbing it with angrily.

It didn't help that Calypso was still failing to grasp the gravity of the situation. _**Is**_** it something too private? :D And who is this weird blonde anyway? I mean, Hermes got me this book about dumb blonde jokES WHICH IS SO FUNNY AND THIS GIRL LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THE ONES ON THE COVER HEH!**

Percy groaned and quickly sent Calypso a message on Facebook:

BLONDE GIRL IS ANNABETH I TOLD YOU ABOUT! DO NOT FLIRT ON WALL! ANNABETH VERY JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND! FLIRT THROUGH INBOX AND I MAY FLIRT BACK WINK WINK!

He grimly clicked the send button. He did not enjoy doing such atrocious things behind Annabeth's back but certain steps had to be taken to ensure his- and Calypso's- safety.

Unfortunately, that seemed a little impossible. Annabeth had commented, **WHERE THE HELL IS OGYGIA, ZEUS? TELL ME NOW OR I SWEAR I WILL KILL YOU!**

Oh, no. He had to protect Zeus now too! He was the Savior of Olympus and all, but this was too much for a guy to handle. What should he do now?

Suddenly, Percy had an amazing brainwave. Smiling at his own genius, he typed, **It's okay, Annabeth. You're the only girl I sea that way.**

He leaned back to admire his handiwork. Water related comments were the way to go.

A minute after, Annabeth's comment came up. **Percy. Please stop with the water related comments. **Well, apparently his girlfriend didn't think so.

**It's okay. I find it cute!** Calypso commented. Percy groaned and checked his inbox. Calypso hadn't seen the message.

Water mess! He needed more water related comments. **What? Err…**

**Ooh! I got that one! It means water, right? **Leo asked. Percy smiled. At least someone appreciated how amusing he was.

**Leo? Didn't I ask you to get lost from here? **Annabeth asked.

**Sorry. Bye! **Leo replied.

Percy frowned. Why was Annabeth scaring off all his supporters? Shaking his head, he clicked on his home page to see what was up with everyone. The first post has been written five minutes ago by Rachel.

**Gods. I'm stuck in biology. The teacher is so annoying. **

Nico had commented, **do you want me to come over there and kill him/her?**

**Uh, no it's okay, Nico. **Rachel replied.

Percy decided to give his two cents. **Quite the overprotective boyfriend you have.**

**Shut up, Percy! **Rachel replied.

Another woman angry, Percy thought shaking his head. Let's make her happy again by using water-related comments! **Hey! It's nice seeing you two pond.**

**Pond? **Rachel wrote, obviously confused.

**Bond! **Leo guessed correctly. Percy beamed.

**Leo… **Annabeth's comment appeared. Percy looked at the ellipses. Oops. Annabeth only used ellipses if she was in a very bad I'm-going-to-chop-up-my-boyfriend-and-send-him-to-Hades mood.

Leo hastily replied. **Sorry. I'm leaving…**

**Percy… **She continued. Oh no! She's started using the Power of the Ellipses against him too!

**Water comments are FUN, Annabeth! **Typing one last comment Percy hurriedly shut his laptop, jumped out of bed and ran towards the Athena cabin, intent on kneeling by Annabeth's feet and begging her to forgive him a thousand times.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello!**

**Reminder to vote for this story for a Phoenix Award if you think it should win ;) link is on my profile for any lovely people~**

**Also, I edited all the previous chapters and I would like to say that they're _much _better now. ALSO. NINE HUNDRED REVIEWS KLSADJGH HUGGLEGLOMPS REVIEWERS THANK YOU GUYS**

* * *

><p><strong>Name: <strong>Annabeth Chase

**Age: **Don't you know that you should never ask a woman her age? Oh, what the hell, I'm not Aphrodite. 16 years old.

**Home: **San Francisco.

**Current Location: **Camp Half Blood

**Interested In: **Fighting, questing, Capture the Flag and making sarcastic comments.

**In A Relationship: **With Seaweed Brain. I know. I must be crazy.

The comment had popped up a second after Annabeth had finished updating her profile. **See Percy? She thinks she's crazy to like you! You'd be a million times better off with me! **She glared at it, thinking of how best to reply without seeming jealous and overprotective, which she of course was NOT.

**I'm sorry, but I don't seem to remember meeting you. Please get out of my profile. **Ah, now that was exactly what a cool girlfriend would say.

**Humph. **Calypso replied. Annabeth smiled to herself.

WIN.

**Making sarcastic comments? We all know who bears the brunt of that. **Percy commented. Annabeth growled. Whose side was he on?

**Shut up, Percy, or I'll block you from my profile like I blocked your girlfriend. **Annabeth typed. That would show him who the boss here was.

Suddenly, Aphrodite's comment came up. **WHAT THE HELL!? YOU AND PERCY BROKE UPP? WHY THE HELL DIDN'T I SEE IT ON MY FAVORITE-COUPLES-BREAK-UP-LIST? PERCY, YOU'RE DATING CALYPSO? WHY DIDN'T I SEE IT ON MY LEAST-FAVORITE-COUPLE-DATING-LISTT? **Annabeth smirked. Aphrodite was on her side too. No one was on Calypso's side. NO ONE. But she had to make it clear that they weren't broken up.

Rolling her eyes, Annabeth typed, **Way to get hyper on sarcasm, Aphrodite.**

**What is sarcasm? **She replied. Annabeth rolled her eyes again.

**So **_**that's**_** why you're the Goddess of Love! **She replied.

Suddenly, another post popped up on her wall. **Youuuuuuuuuu guyssssssss areeeeeeeeee weirddddddddddddddd **Annabeth squinted. Was Nico drunk? He posted again. **Sorryyy, thereeeeee'ssss somethingggg wronggggg withhhh myyyyyyyy keyboardddddd**

**:/ **An emoticon was probably the safest thing to type.

**:O So Aphrodite, who's top on your "Favorite Couple Break Up List"? **Leo asked. Annabeth scowled, annoyed that the Son of Hephaestus had the guts to post on her wall, but waited in anticipation for Aphrodite's reply.

**Me and Ares ;_; -sob- -sniff- -sob sob- - sniff sniff- **Annabeth read her reply. Well, Aphrodite would obviously be obsessed with _her _break-up.

**And your "Least Favorite Couples Dating List"? **Leo asked again

**Me and Hephaestus ;_; -sob- -sniff- -sob sob- - sniff sniff **Annabeth scowled. Well, if she hated Hephaestus so much, why on Earth was she with him anyway?

She decided to reply. **How could you expect anything else Leo? –cough self-centered goddess cough-**

**Annabeth! Don't blame **_**me**_** if my love life is more heart whelming, tragic, sorrowful and contains more suffering than yours. I can be expected to lament the lost of my boyfriend, can't I? **Aphrodite replied. Annabeth mentally facepalmed.

**UM YEAH. EXACTLY WHAT I MEANT, LEO? **She replied to Aphrodite. Annabeth looked up as Percy walked into the Athena cabin. "Understand the concept of knocking, Seaweed Brain?" she growled as he came in. She was still very upset about the fact that he was getting so chummy with Calypso.

"Sorry, Wise Girl," Percy said sheepishly, hanging his head. Immediately, a column of regret rushed through Annabeth. She fell into Percy's arms and kissed him passionately to make up for how she had treated him. Percy beamed at her. "So I needed to talk to you about something really important…"

Fifteen minutes later, Annabeth was sitting in front of her laptop again, beaming at the screen happily. Percy was such an amazing boyfriend. This would make a very good status update. She deftly typed out her status. **OMG! YEEEEES! PERCY PROPOSED**

She was typing these words, happily humming to herself when it happened.

The message popped up.

Annabeth glanced at the bar which showed how much power her laptop had and saw that it was down to zero. In a last ditch effort she quickly stabbed the enter key just as her laptop blinked shut. Annabeth felt like crying. Her amazing news. Her wonderful status update. Now goodness knows how much time it all would take.

Percy had just logged into his Facebook account. As he clicked on his notifications he saw that he'd been tagged in a status by Annabeth. He beamed. It was probably a wittier version the wonderful news Percy had given her earlier. The status popped up in a new page.

**OMG! YEEEEES! PERCY PROPOSED**

Percy stared at it in confusion. Proposed? Had he really proposed? He didn't think that he'd proposed. He scrolled down to the comments. Maybe they would give him a clearer idea of what this was about.

Athena had posted a very angry comment. **WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS? YOU WILL DIE BEFORE YOU EVER GET MARRIED JACKSON I SWEAR IT. **Percy swallowed.

His father in contrast didn't seem to care much. **Aha, nice job son ;) **he had commented.

**You're too young Percy! AND DON'T YOU DARE ENCOURAGE HIM WITH THIS POSEIDON. I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH ATHENA. WHILE ANNABETH IS EXACTLY WHAT I WOULD WANT A WIFE TO BE PERCY IS NOT OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE ANY WIFE. **Percy swallowed again. Athena was one thing but his mother rarely got angry. But when she did, you did _not _want to be on the receiving end.

Grover had already put in claims for best man. **Go Percy! Can I be your best man? Please? Pretty please?**

**Don'ttttt forgettttt meeeeee I'lllllll beeeee theeeee bestttttt mannnnn offff courseeeee Groverrrrrr! **And Nico was already fighting against those claims.

Percy's heart shrunk even further when he saw Calypso's comment. **NO PERCY! YOU CANNOT DO THIS! I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL! WAS OUR TRAGIC AND DEFYING LOVE NOT BETTER THAN WHAT THIS BLOND GAVE YOU? **Suddenly a light bulb went off in his head. Annabeth was jealous! That's why she'd made this post! She wanted to make Calypso jealous. Percy smiled secretly. It felt good to have two girls fighting over him.

**Can I be the bridesmaid? PLEASE I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT ANYTHING YOU NAME IT. **Great. Once Rachel got something in her head, she would never let it go. She would probably get them married anyway, so that she could be bridesmaid.

**Whatever Prissy ;) **Clarisse was Clarisse as usual.

**YES! Finally, Jackson! How big was the ring, Annabeth? O_o **Percy fidgeted nervously. He hadn't proposed to Annabeth! Where did a ring come in?

**Yay! Now I can call Annabeth sister-in-law and we can eat peanut butter and ride fish ponies! **Trust Tyson to still have peanut butter and fish ponies on his mind.

Annabeth was staring at her laptop screen in horror. What was this mess? This is what happened when she forgot to charge her laptop! She quickly typed up a post that would hopefully explain the misunderstanding. **OMFG guys! Calm down! My laptop's battery died before I could complete the sentence. Percy proposed **_**that we both go to college together**_**!**

Aphrodite immediately commented. **Thank god! You guys weren't appearing in my Favorite-Couple-Married list! I was thinking that the lists were a little faulty. **Annabeth grinned. A sign of normality felt good.

**Whew. I was wondering what this was. I was actually quite prepared to go along with it. :D **Annabeth snorted. Trusting Percy, he would have been freaking out and trying to remember when he had proposed to her.

She anyway typed out a, **awwww! :* **and commented.

Rachel also commented quickly. **DAMMIT! I don't get to be bridesmaid!**


End file.
